


Penelope Garcia's Semi-Annual Hack and Yack

by hiddencait



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Criminal Minds, NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Primeval
Genre: All the ladies, F/M, Gen, hints of Becker/Jess Parker off screen, interagency cooperation at its best, walk into a bar type crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 13:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddencait/pseuds/hiddencait
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penelope considers this inter-agency cooperation at its best. Plus, sangria and lovely ladies were their own excuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penelope Garcia's Semi-Annual Hack and Yack

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aoife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aoife/gifts).



> This is a long overdue thank you gift for Aoife for an emergency beta for me. When I offered her the fic, she just asked that I take some of my recent fandom lady faves and have them all end up in the same location. This is the odd result my brain came up with.
> 
> Hopefully the voices/characters came across properly. Most of these ladies are as recognizable by their physical presence as their voices, but the set up made that difficult. Hope you anjoy Aoife!

Penelope fluttered and fussed about her living room for the all of 30 minutes she’d allowed herself. It could have easily turned into a four hour fussing ordeal if she wasn’t careful, and while yes, it was a special occasion as a friend was visiting, the friend in question wasn’t near as worried about how Penelope’s abode looked as Penelope was herself.

 

Still, the incomparable Abby Sciuto deserved an equally incomparable setting. Not to mention the other three lovelies who’d been visiting Penelope’s place remotely. Penelope gave one last twitch to the edge of a polka-dotted throw pillow and then forced herself out of the plush and cozy living room and into the kitchen for the final touch of a massive pitcher of her infamous peach sangria and two colorful glasses.  Just in time too, the doorbell range just as her computer let out the soft chirp of a video chat request from the secure server Penelope had ready and waiting.

 

She rushed over to let Abby in, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and gleefully accepted the provisions the other woman had brought. Chips and spinach dip were always acceptable hostess gifts.

 

“Come on in, my darling, and get yourself comfortable. Sounds like at least one of the girls is on already.” Both she and Abby hurried to get themselves and their laptops set up, and Penelope switched on the large monitor and webcam against the main wall of the room.  She typed in a quick accept response to the chat request, and instantly Nell Jones’s face beamed back at them. The petite NCIS agent in California waved at the pair in Virginia.

 

“Hello ladies! Am I late?”

 

“Nope, first to the party, Nell. You got in almost before I did,” Abby laughed. She was distracted by Penelope raising the pitcher and a glass. “Ooo Penelope sangria. Gimme!”

 

“It isn’t a CaffPow, but it should be up to your standards.” Penelope poured them both a glass and finally allowed herself to sit back with her laptop balanced on her knees.

 

Nell pouted at the sight of the sangria Penelope had bragged about. “That is just unfair. I have to try to make it out there for the next meeting. I’ve got leave saved up; I just never seem to get to use it.”

 

“Preach on, sister,” Abby commiserated. “So totally true.”

 

Before Nell could respond about the sad state of their vacation availability, another ping signaled a chat request and at Penelope’s cursor click, a new video opened, revealed what looked to be a coffee shop and the pretty face of their newest member, a Rising Tide hacker known only as Skye who was lately also a probationary member of SHIELD. Or possible a SHIELD prisoner. Penelope wasn’t totally sure which (she wasn’t sure Skye was either, frankly), but the fact that the younger woman had managed to get free time to log on made the latter seem less likely than it had previously. Skye looked a little nervous, though, so it was possible she hadn’t exactly been _allowed_ to make this appearance.

 

Oh well – Penelope didn’t need to get in the middle of a SHIELD disciplinary… thing. These little get-togethers might be very nominally approved of by each of her lovelies’ various bosses/COs/whatever-the-organization titled their “Yes Sirs,” but that didn’t mean they could interfere with internal chains of command. This small group of five female technical analysts and white hats had come together by accident, and it wasn’t like their respective superiors would be able to stop them from exchanging information. Still, it was just politic to respect most of the boundaries between each of their organizations.

 

Penelope liked to consider her Hack and Yacks a sort of barely-official example of interagency cooperation at its best. So far, she’d say the results spoke for themselves.

 

“Welcome dearest – glad you managed to make it this round!”

 

“Oh god, me too!” Skye replied with a grin, taking a sip of whatever coffee shop concoction she’d ordered for herself. “Life has been more than a little crazy. I needed some chill time with like-minded ladies.”

 

“Well that’s what we’re here for,” Abby chimed in, raising her glass in a toast. “Do we know if Jess’s going to make it? The time zone thing is always a downer.”

 

As if on cue, another ping from the chat box signaled the arrival of their final and only international member, Jess Parker, who was also the only member who wasn’t technically government sanctioned now that Skye had ponied up to SHIELD. From the little Penelope had dug up during one bored afternoon, it appeared the ARC had been a government entity at one point but was transferred to a civilian contract later on. It was close enough, really, and Jess was a delight of color and fun. Penelope quite thought that mattered more than a political sanction. Penelope opened up Jess’s chat window and waved to the petite Brit.

 

She was rather less colorful and energetic at the moment – Penelope did the math in her head and cringed. It was… oh 3 in the morning there? Still that didn’t explain the uncharacteristically black t-shirt that Jess was sporting. One that looked several sizes too large. Penelope exchanged a knowing look with Abby and tucked away her suspicious for a later interrogation.

 

“Hey there sunshine – surprised you made it! Did you wake up just for little ole us?”

 

“No, not hardly. I’ve been up. Had a mission that only wrapped up around eleven or so. Then there was celebrating, and by celebrating I mean-”

 

“Wait!” Abby was shaking her head furiously. “You know the rules – work now, girl talk explaining you being awake and wearing a man’s shirt later.”

 

Jess blushed scarlet but still nodded, grinning widely. “Sorry! Almost forgot. Little distracted.” She looked up and passed the camera and waved someone away. “Go back to bed – I’ve got that meeting, remember?”

 

She blushed at the camera again, and Nell was seen to waggle her eyebrows. Skye on the other hand, looked a bit perplexed.

 

“So, question. I know we’re gunning for the Bechdel test again, so no boys allowed, but…” She paused and tilted her head. “But does that mean we can’t talk about that guy with the whole cyborg dinosaur thing? Because I kinda think we need to talk about him.”

 

Abby nodded. “I’d say this counts as work instead of men in general. If not, oh well.” She shrugged, and Penelope saw the other girls grin and nod as well. Abby’s logic was hard to argue with, and it wasn’t like any of their party really wanted to argue with her anyway.

 

“So what actually happened with said cyborg dino darlings? I think I’m the only one actually out of the loop on this case right now.” Penelope asked, tracking down as much internet chatter as she could. “Someone did a wonderful job of covering their tracks with this one.”

 

Jess smiled. “That was probably me. Lester, my boss I mean. He went a little ballistic with this one.”

 

Abby was typing madly beside Penelope, and after a moment, she pulled up a shared folder onto the main screen. Penelope clicked it open and blinked at the images and data within. Abby took another sip of her sangria and smiled apologetically at Jess. “You missed a few sites. Don’t worry, me and Nell got them.”

 

“Dealing with Naval crazy is our deal,” Nell agreed. “Still don’t know what a submarine engineer thought he was doing playing with organic life.”

 

“What’s going to happen to the little guy?” Penelope asked, stuck on the images of the water-going dinosaur. Poor thing looked painful with all the metal grafting.

 

“I think SHIELD’s passing the buck of the dino to you all, Jess. Heard anything yet?”

 

“Mmm, yes. Abby took charge of the plesiosaur this… well I guess yesterday morning really.” The petite hacker looked vengeful for a moment. “Did you know he’s a juvenile? Just a baby and that bloody bastard just…” She rubbed her eyes tiredly. “The metal bits aren’t designed to grow as the baby does. Abby’s not sure we’ll be able to remove any of it either. There’s definitely no chance of sending him back home like we normally try with a creature incursion.”

 

Penelope scowled and turned her gaze to Skye. “Tell me your folks have a deep whole for this guy?”

 

Skye shrugged. “No earthly idea. I’ll see if I can at least bring up the size issue, Jess. I don’t think any of ours realized the plesiosaur might still grow larger. We may be able to either force what’s-his-face to tell us how to remove everything or change out larger parts. That or AC might have contacts in robotics fields or something. Seriously guys, I don’t even know what kind of contacts we’ve got yet.” She shrugged again, but then looked a little sly. “I might… I repeat might be able to get you a pair of visiting geniuses maybe. I’ve got two on this team who practically brain trust with each other. One does robots and the other biochemistry so… maybe?”

 

Penelope tilted her head. “That would sound like the best chance for possible cybernetics.”

 

“This is so cool!” Abby crooned, and then caught herself. “Well not that the little guy’s stuck with cybernetic parts, that’s not cool. But that I know someone who knows someone who might be capable of figuring out cyborg technology?”

 

“So very cool,” Nell agreed.

 

“I’m pretty chuffed about it, myself,” Skye agreed with a grin.

 

“We are all in awe of you by proxy,” Penelope smirked. “So, does that sound like the cyborg dino issue is handled? Do we move on to-” Penelope broke off seeing Skye suddenly seem to panic, the younger brunette’s eyes going wide at something behind her laptop.

 

“Shit, I gotta go, it’s-”

 

“Stand down, you’re fine,” came a calm low voice, and then the solemn figure of Agent Melinda May leaned down to appear on the chat screen next to Skye. “Sorry to end the meeting, ladies, but we have a case.” She smiled at the screen and beside her, Penelope was amused to see Skye staring in shock. “Oh and Nell, tell Hettie I said hello.”

 

“Um… I’ll do that,” the young tech said hesitantly, wondering what exactly she was missing about the stranger.

 

“Thank you.” With that Skye’s screen went blank – apparently May hadn’t thought it necessary to give the younger woman a chance to say good-bye. Penelope shrugged at the thought – this was _Melinda May,_ after all. She was guaranteed to have more important things on her mind.

 

With Skye gone and May’s presence having reminded them of their own personal and professional responsibilities, the Hack and Yack wound down after that, with Nell signing off to answer a question of Hettie’s and Jess finally giving into the god-awful hour it was in the U.K. … and the presence of the hot soldier she’d apparently finally managed to tempt into her bed.

 

Somewhere around the bottom of the pitcher of sangria, Penelope and Abby made a vow to interrogate Jess about said soldier at the first opportunity. All in all, it was a hell of a way for five brilliant women to pass an evening, if slightly less time together than they’d hoped. They’d definitely be meeting up for another Hack and Yack sooner rather than later. Assuming they didn’t have to stop the world from ending, Penelope mused. Or more accurately, stop the world from ending… Again.


End file.
